Thursday 21 December 2017

KEN'S REVIEW OF 2017


The other night the BBC held their Sports Personality of the year awards. As usual I didnt watch it. So to celebrate that fact , here are my own, beer related awards for 2017.

The Best Name for a Beer Award 2017

I have been to the Glasgow Beer Festival for the last 3 years. There is always a good choice and this year was no exception. The beer with the best name was Cock Up Your Beaver. 


Brewed on the isle of Bute and for those with inquiring minds, its named after a  song and poem by Robbie Burns. A beaver is a type of Scottish hat, so cock up your beaver means to doff your hat. You didnt think it meant something else, surely ? 




Most Enlightening Beer Festival Conversation.

I always go to the Glasgow Beer Festival on my own ( Kenny No Mates), while the family tour  the shops . But I quickly get talking to anyone and this year I was sitting next to a couple from West Yorkshire. They were CAMRA members so we were chatting about our different branches etc. Then the topic of one of there mates Eric came up. Apparently he nearly always falls asleep in pubs. I thought, " hang on Ive seen a picture of him somewhere!"

Now, some years ago I acquired a 2010 copy of the Calderdale CAMRA Branch newsletter. One feature was "Snoozers in Boozers". Sure enough, after all this time  this is Eric.( see picture)





Now I have a mate who nearly always falls asleep on buses and trains after a pub crawl. So my next award is :-

Worst singing performance by a male artist in a pub 2017.

A group of us do a pub crawl about 5 times a year. One of us compiles a quiz, which we enjoy in each pub we visit. Our recent trip was to Malton. Settling into the first pub, The Crown, we started the quiz. Eventually the question was asked . " Name no 1 hit songs with the name of an animal in the title from these groups ". So examples  were  Culture Club  - " Karma Chameleon" and Tight Fit -  "The Lion Sleeps tonight". . 

Then it was the turn of he who sleeps on trains. The question was Sweet. After a brief thought he suddenly stood up and stared singing, with the accompanying dance movements as seen on Top of The Pops. "Tiger Feet" By Mud.

We all just stared with mouths open. What the **** ? That was Mud you daft sod ( or perhaps another word was used here), not Sweet !.  

You had to be there    
( The Sweet hit was Fox on the Run) 
Back to beer festivals now 

Best Sponsorship link at a beer festival.     
 .  
At the Sunderland Beer Festival held in October, one of the beers was called Black Jesus, brewed by Great Heck. Now various sponsors had been approached prior to the festival, either to have an advert in the Program, or sponsor a beer.

One of the establishments approached was a restaurant/ bar opposite the Sunderland Empire. It was named after its address , 2 Church Lane. So Black Jesus was sponsored by 2 Church Lane !

Best Beer at the Great British Beer Festival 

The first beer I tried when I got there in August was from the Titanic Bar - Plum Porter Grand Reserve. I couldn't smell the plums and it tasted just like a....porter. Not impressed. I thought they had upped the strength to 6% & given it a fancy name as a marketing tool. Well it worked, it keeps appearing this Xmas.
So not going for that one. Some of us agreed that Bathams Mild Ale was the best. At 3.5% it was not overly hoppy, it had a pleasant easy drinking caramel taste. Its been brewed in the West Midlands for years and a pleasant change from all these over hopped IPAs that are everywhere these days. ( There got that one off my chest !)

Best Pub for Customer Interaction ( and best Halloween Pumpkin)

A few weeks ago, on the way back from our 3rd Glasgow visit  ,  Mrs Ken and I called into The Crown Inn, in a village called Humshaugh, just north of Hexham.  It was early afternoon, the pub I think had just opened and we were the only drinkers. The barmaid was very chatty and took the time to tell us a lot about the pub and the area. Apparently the owner is a car nut and every first Sunday of the month there is a sports car gathering at the pub, when dozens of owners turn up with polished and sometimes expensive cars.

Outside the gents is a photo board which shows the many cars that turn up. They were planning on having a "turn up in your tractor event" after we visited. And the pumpkin, well here is the picture.

 
Worst pub for customer interaction

Every 3 months I deliver CAMRA Magazines to some of the real ale pubs in our branch. There is a pub called the Stackyard in West Herrington had reopened after a major refurb. So I called one Sunday lunchtime. The place was busy but I managed to get the attention of a member of staff, who could well have been the manager. I asked I her if I could leave some magazines.

" Are we in it ? " she said.
" Er no"  
" Well if we are not in it, no you cant leave any", She then turned her back and disappeared into the kitchen.
Not going back there again !.

Best friendly pub photo award

In total contrast to the aforesaid Stackyard, about 3 miles away is the Monument pub in Old Penshaw. When I drop CAMRA magazines off I am welcomed by the landlady, the locals and not forgetting the dogs. They go mad when anyone comes in. Now Ive been doing some research on the pub for a future magazine article and have been a couple of times lately. The other day I called in to take a picture of their real fire. After the usual ritual of excitable barks, jumping on me etc ( that would be the dogs by the way) , one of them posed for me next to the fire.



Best surprise beer in a pub  

One of my favourite beers is Owd Rodger. These days I only see it in bottles, so imagine my delight at seeing it on handpull in the Teal Farm, a Marstons pub in Washington. Its the first time Ive had it in cask form since the 80's in the Cooperage in Newcastle. To of us used to drink this 7.4% beer at lunchtime then go into work when we started at 3pm.         Happy days 


Best Pub Garden Experience 

Earlier this year a group of us did a pub bus crawl from Houghton le Spring to Seaton and Seaham.
 
Our 3rd pub was the Dun Cow in Seaton village. Being a warm sunny day, after getting the beers we retired to the garden. Glasses were placed on a picnic table and some of us sat down. For some reason I stood up, and the resulting imbalance caused the table to tip and at least 3 pints to project  into the air , showering their contents on the one of us sitting opposite. The poor bugger got soaked so much so he spent the rest of our time there in his underpants with his jeans drying on the garden wall.

I took the 3 empty glasses back inside and explained what had happened . 
" Oh yes", she said " that's happened before !"