ON THE PERILS OF DRINK , OR "2 MINUTES LADS"

 

In the summer of 1974 three mates and myself walked the  southern half of the Pennine Way, from Edale in the Peak District to Keld in North Yorkshire. In those days we went out quite regularly, hiking on the North York Moors, Durham Dales or Northumberland. By way of rehearsal for the big one  , that is taking in a walk, going to a pub, having a few beers then having an overnighter  in a tent, we decided to do just that near to the village of Rookhope in Weardale,  County Durham.

So one Saturday off we set , with me driving - which is significant - and parked up on the edge of the village not far from the Rookhope Inn. This pub , a typical village local, has featured in the Good Beer Guide in the past.
 

Now in those days, the pub would have shut at 3pm , so leaving the car , we walked up a disused railway track in the direction of a local high point, Bolts Law  ( see map). I think we walked an ambitious 2 miles then, finding a suitable place to camp,  put up the tents and hiked down  to spend the evening in the pub.

Now I'm very vague as to what we were drinking that night but I do know that, as there were 4 of us, we each bought 2 rounds ( you do the maths).

After time gentlemen please we headed to the gents. One of us, who we shall call Huey,  looked very queasy. He suddenly made a dash for one of the traps, and proceeded to projectile vomit, like in scene from the film the Exorcist.

" 2 minutes lads" he croaked then proceeded to throw up again.The rest of us just stood, swaying slightly , watching this scene with some amusement but little sympathy.
 

" 2 minutes lads", he repeated, then, hugging the bowl,   was sick a third time.

" 2 minutes lads" was uttered for a third time before he finished, exhausted .

Now for me, the rest of the night is gone. We obviously left the pub at closing time ,  then the fresh air would have hit.

I have a very vague memory of falling over on the way back up the hill to the tents, but it was the next morning that this over indulgence really hit me. My right shoulder was all bruised and aching as if I had been trampled on by a herd of cattle. It was a mixture of black, purple and yellow. I could not use my right arm ( I'm right handed). 

We surmised that on the trek back up to the tents I must fallen down a steep incline to the side of the old railway track. Any thought of some long distance walking that day was now out of the question, not that it ever was. 

We  were now faced with the problem of getting home ( I'm the driver remember). So it was back downhill towards Rookhope village and the car.  In order to drive home, I had to wind the window down and lean my elbow out, grasping the steering wheel with the left hand, while the front passenger changed gears. Huey was in the back looking very pale. I'm not sure if this was from the excess of the night before or my driving.

Looking back now, we must have driven close to at least 3 hospitals before we got home.

Then it was straight to the local A & E  to find,  after an X Ray, it was "just" a badly bruised shoulder. It was put in a sling, the one and only time Ive worn one.(*) We conjectured that being so drunk, my relaxed state broke my fall. I'm guessing but the hospital staff must have been amused  that this was different to the normal falling down drunk injuries.

It was the one and only time I have been to the Rookhope Inn and Ive no idea how much mess Huey left in   the toilet. I very much doubt if the landlord is still around, but if he is, I can imagine a scenario if one of us goes back. On walking in, a voice behind the bar will boom " Hey sunshine, you are still barred"   

* Stop press. 

History has just repeated itself. I started this post a few weeks ago , only just getting round to finalising it. Before Xmas just gone, I had a session in Newcastle, got the bus home and took a short cut from the bus stop through a local wood. I tripped over a tree root ( I think) and bruised my ribs. The statement about having only worn a sling once still holds however , as its impossible to put a sling round your ribs. In case you are concerned, I am getting better.