Thursday, 20 December 2018

KEN'S REVIEW OF 2018


The other night the BBC held their Sports Personality of the year awards. As usual I didnt watch it. So to celebrate that fact , here are my own, in no particular order, beer related awards for 2018.

The First In The queue For The Champion Beer Of Britain 2018 Award

That goes to yours truly ! ( I am deeply humbled)



At out regular annual visit to the Great British Beer Festival (GBBF)  it had been announced that the Champion Beer of Britain was Siren Craft Broken Dream Biscuit Stout. Every year it sells out and there is usually a sign saying " available at 3 pm".

I headed to the bar it was on and saw the handpull clip turned around. So standing there I looked up to the large sign ( that they have behind each bar) to  see what else I could have instead. I was just about to order when this CAMRA volunteer suddenly spun the pump clip round. 

Stunned I said " er er half please ". Looking round, a large queue had formed behind me . Oh, the power !

And the beer ? Well lets just say Ive forgotten what it tastes like.

Best beer at GBBF

You may think I have gone mad here. There was a Greene King bar where the brewery had on several of their beers, including the IPA. Why sell this  IPA at a beer festival ? 

Anyhow, i noticed in the programme the strongest beer was their 5X. At 12%, this oak aged beer is rarely seen and it was fantastic. Mind you, it was the last drink I had in the 6 hours I was their so that could have had a bearing on it. 




This flows nicely into the next award, Best Beer at the Sunderland Beer & Cider Festival.   

A late replacement beer was a Coco Pops Milk Stout from Hambleton Brewery. It did what it said on the label. Far superior to the Siren Broken Dream. It was voted best at the festival, a worthy winner. 

Things That Go Wrong At A Beer Festival Award 2018 

Joint winners this year ( why, have you awarded this one before - ed ?) go to The Goods Lift and the Glass Washer


The first day of the Sunderland Festival was collection and delivery of kit and beer day.  Access for the heavy stuff was from an alleyway behind the venue, then up a dodgy goods lift. The door to the alleyway locked from the inside. At the very end of the day, several of the team decided to cram into the lift together to get up to the floor of the venue where the festival was to be held. Fortunately for me, i wasnt one of them.

They hadn't appeared after several minutes and a phone call from inside established the fact the lift was stuck. We couldn't get to them from outside as the door was locked. Finding a member of staff, she rang her boss and then said " we will try and get an electrician out "  TRY ?

To reassure the trapped group, they were told they would be rescued by morning. After about 20 minutes, the lift suddenly recovered and soon the merry band spilled  out of the lift doors.

The second day was bar set up day. I decided I would do the glass washing. After a while figuring out how to work it we were soon in full flow. The venue manager came into the kitchen and said " that's broken" . Err. 

After several washes we noticed the tiled floor was getting flooded. The bloody thing was leaking !. The guy came back, saw the puddle, chucked half a dozen paper towels down , then buggered off ! He never came back !


Soon a rhythm was established, place glasses in washer ; mop floor ; remove glasses, mop floor etc .

The Most Confusing Pie Menu Award 2018   


There is a pub on the Newcastle Quayside called The Red House. A group of us were doing a summer pub crawl in Newcastle and finished up in this pub, ready for some nosh. The speciality is Pies, Mash and Peas. So far so good. There were a choice of 8 pies, 4 types of mash, 3 types of peas and 3 of gravy. There was also 6 of us onto our 6th pint of the day.

The more alert of you can see the problem here. As we each wanted  different combinations I had to place 6 separate lengthy orders. The sheet of paper  looked like a project GANTT chart.

Of course with us well away, most of us forgot what we had ordered so we just ate what was plonked in front of us ! 

The Best Pub Crawl Award 2018


In October a bunch of us set off on the bus on a mystery trip to Allendale. I knew where to but the others didnt. By a remarkable coincidence the visit coincided with the opening of a new sci-fi museum in the town.. The place was swarming with Star Wars Storm Troopers, Cybermen, Chewbacca and other dressed up characters. One pub had been taken over as a Dr Who convention, full of memorabilia and fans queuing to pay £5 for the autograph of the actor who played a sergeant in the 70's.

We were pissing ourselves laughing at all these people taking this all so seriously. Outside, Chewbacca sidled up to one on my mates and said " Your Mick aren't you, I used to work with you !" 

The Pub With The Most Pointless Place For A Pool Table 2018

For Fathers Day this year Mrs Ken, Daughter and me went on a steam train trip from Fort William to Mallaig. In Mallaig, we headed for fish and chips in the Chlachain Inn. After the food, daughter challenged me to a game of pool. Now a pool cue is 57" long. Unfortunately 2 sides of the table were less than half of that. Most of the game was spent holding the cue vertically, risking damaging the table. If you have seen Peter Sellers ( as Inspector Clouseau ) playing snooker with George Sanders in  the film, Shot in the Dark, you get the drift.

I still won ! 


And Finally The Best Pub Award 2018 

Now  I just checked, Ive been in half a dozen micropubs this year. The best, and the one I visit nearly every week is The Station House in Durham. 4 beers all on gravity and always a dark beer. The staff know what I like to drink which makes the place so welcoming.

A recent tweet stated that Old Peculier was on. 
I replied - "Keep some for Tuesday"
"Too late, but we have Old Tom coming !"

And so it was when I arrived. It coincided with the pubs 3rd birthday, so I got a free cup cake  Marvellous 




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