AN ENCOUNTER WITH DESPERATE DAN

 As I have no doubt mentioned before, our daughter lives and works in Glasgow, so Mrs Ken & I had yet another trip to that city. Now the CAMRA AGM will be held in Dundee next month so I suggested a drive up one day from Glasgow, where we  were staying for 2 nights.. I have driven round the city a few times on the way to and from Aberdeen, so was keen to see what the city had to offer.

Dundee is home the Beano and Dandy comics, the latter featuring Desperate Dan. There is a statue of him in the City Square

The first research was the Good Beer Guide and I found a suitable pub , The Phoenix, which is described as :-

One of Dundee's oldest pubs with sturdy wooden seats and tables and green leather benches giving the place character, along with a rare Ballingall Brewery mirror. Five ales on, and excellent pub food at conservative prices. Traditional pub, warm and cosy with great atmosphere and subdued lighting, like pubs used to be.

It was 5 minutes walk from the car park so that was our first port of call. One of the house beers was Deuchars IPA, fair enough...the other was Landlord. Why ? All those Scottish beers to chose from !

Anyhow, conscious of the drinking driving laws the Deuchars was the lowest ABV, so had a pint and lunch. I was hoping some Desperate Dan cow pie would be on the menu, had to make do with a chilli burger and chips (excellent).

While waiting for the food I asked mine host if I could leave some CAMRA Angle magazines.

"CAMRA ? Harumph"  or something like that, "leave them over there on that table outside the ladies"

I thought it was a strange reply,  considering the pub will be rammed with CAMRA members in about 2 weeks time. 

Anyhow, left them next to some local CAMRA magazines, one of which I took to read.The first thing I  noticed on the front was the advert for the AGM but with the date -  Issue 2 2018 !

Now I am imagining the Magazine Editor taking delivery and grabbing a copy to proudly check his work, and seeing the misprint and saying " Oh Shit !"

Halfway through lunch, the landlord started collecting glasses and walked past us saying, " Now then CAMRA Boy ( I'm 67) hows the beer?"How could I not say it was fine.

After lunch, I was keen to find the statue so after a brief detour into a shopping centre, we found him.

If you look at the photograph I hope you agree he should be made an honorary CAMRA member, he has the shape !

Back in Glasgow that evening, we went for a meal in a Greek Restaurant then moved to the adjacent Drum and Monkey Pub. I said to the other two we had not been in before. "Yes we have, last year". I cannot remember it, so I checked my beer scoring on Whatpub , and sure enough we had, November last year!

Anyhow setting aside this alarming memory lapse, on the door of the pub was a sticker, "CAMRA Discount Here, ask at the bar". Ordering a couple of pints I flashed my card. The young lad wandered off to find a till, scratched his head and came back.

" How much is the discount?"   he asked.

"I don't know mate , you work here !"

"Lets call it 20%"   he offered.  I should have replied 50% when he asked...bugger.

.  

CAMRA ANGLE 55, SPRING 2019

The Spring edition of CAMRA Angle , the quarterly magazine of the Sunderland and South Tyneside branch of CAMRA, has  just been published. Copies will be distributed to real ale pubs throughout the area , and beyond after Wednesday 13th. As usual , this is another full issue and well worth a read. 

This issue features the local and national pubs of the year, a look at a unique Fullers pub, pub crawls round the Boldons York and Morpeth (no, not at the same time !)

Theres a book review, a report on a new film being released in July about Vaux Brewery and a report from our pubs preservation officer, who is also well preserved !.

A regular section is a news update on beer from the wood, branch and regional  pubs and  breweries in the branch as well as Locale pubs and those that offer discounts. Issue 54 is rounded off by the regular pub quiz. 

Enjoy the read !!

If you cant find a copy, follow this link to download your own,  and for more branch news. http://sst.camra.org.uk/wordpress/

 

And remember, accept no imitations. 

CANNABIS BEER - SURELY NOT ?

We have just returned from a week's holiday  in Lanzarote in the Canary Islands. This is the third time and so wasn't holding out too much hope of a decent choice of beer. It would be the usual San Miquel, Guinness pubs ( why do Brits go to these pubs when on holiday?)

The hotel had bottled Estrella Damm as their house beer. Brewed in Barcelona, this was a new one for me. It was OK I suppose but just like any other Spanish Lager. There were bottles in our free mini bar in the room so why not ?

After a couple of days of this it was time to explore. There was a supermarket near the hotel and spotted this San Miquel beer the midst of a sea of dross. Called Selecta,at 6.2%, this was a passable malty beer.

Recalling our last visit, it was time to head into town and find the Spar supermarket that had a reasonable choice last time we were here, including Belgian and German  beers. Bearing in mind there was free beer back at the hotel, best not come laden out with too many.

Hidden on the bottom was this Cannabis beer - again another new one !  I peered suspiciously at the lable  The ingredients listed on the side include hemp!.

Mrs Ken went into a panic. "You cant get that, do you know what it will do to you?".Well it was 5 % so it was unlikely get me climbing up the walls. I bought one to try " well, I wont be  looking after you if it sends you doolally" came the response.

It tasted more or less like the Estrella to be honest. Nothing special. No indication there was hemp in it, besides I dont even know what hamp is supposed to taste like, or smell like...this certainly didnt smell any different.

I googled it when we got back to the room and found some reviews with this one classic comment :-

" I only buy beers like this to wind the wife up".

Well it worked for me as well !

Peace and love.

THE LAST BUS HOME

About 4 times a year I attend CAMRA Meetings in South Shields. Both myself and a CAMRA mate invariably catch the last bus back home. I usually have 3 pints. Now, a typical journey takes an hour so I can let you work out the result of the formula 3 pints / 1 hour.

Anyhow, the last bus is rarely full and by the time it gets to Washington Town Centre I am usually the only passenger left. It then stops outside a pub called The Highwayman, where without fail, this portly guy gets on, looking worse for the wear. He greets the driver " well hello mate, how are you doing" or a similar pleasantry, nods at me then plonks himself down diagonal on the left hand seat near the front, without fail. Most times, thankfully, he is quiet and just stares blankly ahead. Occasionally he will have a slurred conversation with the driver, who obviously wants to get his bus to the terminus so he get back to the depot. 

The drunk will ask a long question, the driver will reply with a monosyllable ; we get this for 10 minutes till my stop - which also happens to be his.

Now, the first time I "met" him, probably a couple of years ago, the 3 pints on a 1 hour bus journey was seriously getting uncomfortable. I rang the bell and got up. So did he ! Oh god, he's going to follow me or even worse walk with me and I'm bursting ! Thankfully I headed left and he veered off to the right. The other night he mumbled something in what could have been Klingon to the driver before he weaved off into the darkness.

I found my favourite tree, which was just a sapling a few years ago and has been propagated by me off the last bus every since.

     

DRY JANUARY - NO THANKS

At last, the end of Dry January. I totally ignored the principle as usual, but unable to avoid the publicity. I also ignored sober October last year. A friend of mine took part; I impolitely declined,  saying I was waiting for "Cant Remember November"

Even if I wanted to participate, I couldn't really. My birthday is exactly 5 weeks before Xmas Day and last year I got nearly 30 bottles of beer, THEN I got another 16 on Xmas Day. Mind you, 6 of those I bought myself - Tynt Meadow Trappist Beers. They have a date of 2020 so Ive stashed them away for now.  The rest have to be drunk, ran out of cupboard space.

So what have I drank that's interesting, at home or in a pub ?

Well one of my mates had a holiday in Cyprus last year and the lucky sod found a brewery ! Called Aphrodite's Rock Brewery in Paphos, he did the tour and then the swine proceeded to Whatsapp photos of him enjoying the sample. Hmmph. 

Still he brought me a bottle of their Yorkshire Bitter (?) for my aforesaid birthday. ( see right)  It was OK, probably better on a hot day in Cyprus.

What else ?  Well The Ivy House had some red hot mulled cider on early January. ( left)  It was steaming !!

I got a few bottles of Old Peculier for pressies off Mrs Ken. . Its strange but this is not as good as it used to be , and not a patch on the cask, which is still my favourite cask ale. I rarely see it and hence drink it occasionally so its always a pleasure.

  
Best beer of the month ? 

Well mid January we had a CAMRA committee meeting in the Mid Boldon Club. I was driving unfortunately so had to restrict myself to one. Never mind, one of Maxims specials was on, Dragon. I dont normally go for pale ales but this was delicious!.

The problem for me was one of the other beers that was on was North Riding Fudge Brownie Stout. At 7.4% this would have made my night but for the car. It was also galling to have to sit there and watch the other guys drinking this and making appropriate noises in front of me.

I was not polite in my description of them!  Another Hmmph.

DESERT ISLAND BEERS

There was an article in the Winter edition of CAMRA Angle called Desert Island Breweries, where 8 breweries were picked as favourites. So I thought, why not take my favourite beers with me to a desert island.

Now setting  aside the fact that I will need a fully functioning bar to make all this happen, here we go.


            1. Theakstons Old Peculier.

In the summer of 1974 three of my friends and I were walking the southern half of the Pennine Way and had arrived at a youth hostel in Hawes in Wensleydale. We headed down into the village and were soon in the Crown Inn in the Market Place for scampi and chips in a basket and a few beers. I don’t know who spotted the Old Peculier first, but they are forever in my debt.  Having been on a diet of keg S&N , Bass Charrington  and Cameron’s over the years, this 5.7% drink was an absolute revelation. Thick, black and chewy with a hint of liquorice , we all agreed this was amazing. I think this was my first real ale. Needless to say, I do not recall the walk back to the hostel.

2. Marstons Owd Rodger

I first started drinking this on handpull in The Cooperage in Newcastle. I used to work shifts so would sometimes meet up with a mate and have a few before going to work  (Its 7.4%). Rarely seen on handpull it is usually a topic of conversation with guys I meet for the first time :- 

Me - " Have you ever had Owd Rodger in cask form?" 

"Oh yes, I used to drink it in the Cooperage" " 

Did you really, so did I !"

Nice a dark, chewy, fruity and warming 

  

3. Brains Dark 

Great British Beer Festival August 4^th 2011. As usual there were hundreds of ales from all over the UK and the world to choose from, but for starters I made a beeline for the Wales bar and Brains Dark. I had never had this 3.8% mild before and was easily the best beer I had that day. Soon the friends I was with were dashing off to try some.One of the rare times I have had a repeat beer at the same festival.

4. Robinsons Old Tom.

Again, another GBBF favourite. This 8.5% old ale is dangerously drinkable. I remember an early GBBF when 3 of us tried some; we weren't very coherent after that ! The Station House in Durham have it on every Xmas and, guess what I had some !  Available in small bottles so I have the occasional treat.


5. Broughton Old Jock.

I first spotted this one in a CAMRA book, 300 Beers to Try Before You Die. I then spotted it in bottled form in an Asda in Glasgow. My daughter lives there so guess what, its always on my Fathers Day/ Birthday/Christmas list. I must still  have 6 bottles stashed away after the Xmas  festivities ! Last seen on handpull at our Sunderland Beer Festival. Saving some for Burns Night.

Like Owd Rodger , dark and fruity. Oh and another strong one at 6.7%


6. Maxim Maximus

Closer to home this one and at 6%,. another dangerously drinkable beer. I remember nearly 10 years ago after it was first brewed, my mates and I had a pub crawl in Chester Le Street and we ended up in the Cricket Club. One of the guys is not a heavy drinker and Ive never seen him have anything over 5% ( Abbott) . He ordered the Maximus without reading the label properly.  I forget what I had but I said :-

" Er are you sure you want that, its 6%"
" Oh shit better not, can we swap?"

I was delighted.

Last had this one in The Library pub in Durham between Xmas and New Year. Still as good as ever. 

7. Brass Castle Bad Kitty

Appears on an occasional basis in the Station House Durham and when I first tried it last year I was blown away by the complexities of the coffee/chocolate aroma and flavour. I usually can't smell beer but this one hits the spot. "Only" 5.5% but a splendid warming porter.


8. Fullers Vintage Ale.

Another strong one (8.5%) for which I make no apologies. Appears around Xmas every year only in bottle form as a limited edition. Each special box that it comes in is given a unique number. This is bottled conditioned so if I do manage to get a fridge on this desert island there will need to be room to store this upright.  

PS. By a coincidence, I picked up a copy of a CAMRA Magazine, Swale Ale, before Xmas. Based in Kent, their Branch Chairman wrote an article called, you guessed it "Desert Island Beers".  Old Peculier made his list.

This is catching !

KEN'S REVIEW OF 2018

The other night the BBC held their Sports Personality of the year awards. As usual I didnt watch it. So to celebrate that fact , here are my own, in no particular order, beer related awards for 2018.

The First In The queue For The Champion Beer Of Britain 2018 Award

That goes to yours truly ! ( I am deeply humbled)

At out regular annual visit to the Great British Beer Festival (GBBF)  it had been announced that the Champion Beer of Britain was Siren Craft Broken Dream Biscuit Stout. Every year it sells out and there is usually a sign saying " available at 3 pm".

I headed to the bar it was on and saw the handpull clip turned around. So standing there I looked up to the large sign ( that they have behind each bar) to  see what else I could have instead. I was just about to order when this CAMRA volunteer suddenly spun the pump clip round. 

Stunned I said " er er half please ". Looking round, a large queue had formed behind me . Oh, the power !

And the beer ? Well lets just say Ive forgotten what it tastes like.

Best beer at GBBF

You may think I have gone mad here. There was a Greene King bar where the brewery had on several of their beers, including the IPA. Why sell this  IPA at a beer festival ? 

Anyhow, i noticed in the programme the strongest beer was their 5X. At 12%, this oak aged beer is rarely seen and it was fantastic. Mind you, it was the last drink I had in the 6 hours I was their so that could have had a bearing on it. 




This flows nicely into the next award, Best Beer at the Sunderland Beer & Cider Festival.   

A late replacement beer was a Coco Pops Milk Stout from Hambleton Brewery. It did what it said on the label. Far superior to the Siren Broken Dream. It was voted best at the festival, a worthy winner. 

Things That Go Wrong At A Beer Festival Award 2018 

Joint winners this year ( why, have you awarded this one before - ed ?) go to The Goods Lift and the Glass Washer


The first day of the Sunderland Festival was collection and delivery of kit and beer day.  Access for the heavy stuff was from an alleyway behind the venue, then up a dodgy goods lift. The door to the alleyway locked from the inside. At the very end of the day, several of the team decided to cram into the lift together to get up to the floor of the venue where the festival was to be held. Fortunately for me, i wasnt one of them.

They hadn't appeared after several minutes and a phone call from inside established the fact the lift was stuck. We couldn't get to them from outside as the door was locked. Finding a member of staff, she rang her boss and then said " we will try and get an electrician out "  TRY ?

To reassure the trapped group, they were told they would be rescued by morning. After about 20 minutes, the lift suddenly recovered and soon the merry band spilled  out of the lift doors.

The second day was bar set up day. I decided I would do the glass washing. After a while figuring out how to work it we were soon in full flow. The venue manager came into the kitchen and said " that's broken" . Err. 

After several washes we noticed the tiled floor was getting flooded. The bloody thing was leaking !. The guy came back, saw the puddle, chucked half a dozen paper towels down , then buggered off ! He never came back !


Soon a rhythm was established, place glasses in washer ; mop floor ; remove glasses, mop floor etc .

The Most Confusing Pie Menu Award 2018   


There is a pub on the Newcastle Quayside called The Red House. A group of us were doing a summer pub crawl in Newcastle and finished up in this pub, ready for some nosh. The speciality is Pies, Mash and Peas. So far so good. There were a choice of 8 pies, 4 types of mash, 3 types of peas and 3 of gravy. There was also 6 of us onto our 6th pint of the day.

The more alert of you can see the problem here. As we each wanted  different combinations I had to place 6 separate lengthy orders. The sheet of paper  looked like a project GANTT chart.

Of course with us well away, most of us forgot what we had ordered so we just ate what was plonked in front of us ! 

The Best Pub Crawl Award 2018

In October a bunch of us set off on the bus on a mystery trip to Allendale. I knew where to but the others didnt. By a remarkable coincidence the visit coincided with the opening of a new sci-fi museum in the town.. The place was swarming with Star Wars Storm Troopers, Cybermen, Chewbacca and other dressed up characters. One pub had been taken over as a Dr Who convention, full of memorabilia and fans queuing to pay £5 for the autograph of the actor who played a sergeant in the 70's.

We were pissing ourselves laughing at all these people taking this all so seriously. Outside, Chewbacca sidled up to one on my mates and said " Your Mick aren't you, I used to work with you !" 

The Pub With The Most Pointless Place For A Pool Table 2018

For Fathers Day this year Mrs Ken, Daughter and me went on a steam train trip from Fort William to Mallaig. In Mallaig, we headed for fish and chips in the Chlachain Inn. After the food, daughter challenged me to a game of pool. Now a pool cue is 57" long. Unfortunately 2 sides of the table were less than half of that. Most of the game was spent holding the cue vertically, risking damaging the table. If you have seen Peter Sellers ( as Inspector Clouseau ) playing snooker with George Sanders in  the film, Shot in the Dark, you get the drift.

I still won ! 


And Finally The Best Pub Award 2018 

Now  I just checked, Ive been in half a dozen micropubs this year. The best, and the one I visit nearly every week is The Station House in Durham. 4 beers all on gravity and always a dark beer. The staff know what I like to drink which makes the place so welcoming.

A recent tweet stated that Old Peculier was on. 
I replied - "Keep some for Tuesday"
"Too late, but we have Old Tom coming !"

And so it was when I arrived. It coincided with the pubs 3rd birthday, so I got a free cup cake  Marvellous